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| My and my Dummy, who was my patient stand-in and helped my pass the CPNE. He is happy to return to his former job as my PJ's, a ski-mask from my Iowa days, and a few pillows. |
Despite trials, tribulations, tears, and transfers I have finally completed nursing school, yes, about 6 months late. 8 months late if you include the obscene amount of time that they make you wait for your actual graduation date. Anyway, you can read about the final test that I had to take to achieve this milestone here. Basically, this was a hellish weekend in Albany, NY (no, not Albany OR, and yes, there is an Albany, OR) where I had to perform at my highest standards. To pass this test you have to:
1. Complete for simulated lab stations: IV push, wound dressing, IV drip, SubQ/IM injection
2. Real-life "Patient Care Scenarios" where you have to provide care under the very watchful eyes of an instructor.
On each of these, you can fail once. Most people fail for little things. But really, this is an easy exam. If you had to walk across the street at any time of your choosing and just do it for $25, then this exam would be a joke. When you have to wait 4-6 months for a test date and need to cough up $2500 for the test, plane ticket, and lodgings, it becomes a little bigger of a deal. And it's generally the only think that stands between you and the RN. So I will just say that I was feeling pretty fuckin' good when I passed that. I told everyone at Starbucks and killed my phone battery.
Today, I am suffering from post-CPNE syndrome. I wake up panicked before I realize that I don't have to take the CPNE again. I start to get restless if I don't check the CPNE bulletin boards after about a day. I need to double check with my college to make sure that I really passed it. The real scary thing was that after I got back from the CPNE, my body totally went to shit. I was sick for a week. My periods, which had been absent for about three months, suddenly came back with an angry vengeance. It was all this that made me realize just what my body can do for me.
The good think about the CPNE is that it makes the NCLEX look like a pathetic joke in comparison. Onwards!!
