A Sampling of Great Sioux City Minds

Seven percent Give Or Take
Overheard discussion on fashion models in a Briar Cliff University stairway:
Girl 1: ... are so unrealistic. I mean, no one looks that way.
Girl 2: Yeah, totally.
Girl 1: I mean, I bet that, like, less then 10% of women look like that.
Girl 2: I bet it's more then that. I bet it's like 7%.
Girl 1: Yeah, 7%.
Girl 3: I bet it's more then that. I mean, what about all the starving people in Ethiopia?
Girl 1: Oh yeah. Well, 7% plus them.


Vocabulary Building
Overheard discussion between family of four (mom, dad, 5 year old, baby in stroller) while walking to work:
Man: ... messed up. I mean, he won't be going anywhere near there again. I took that dude down! [unintelligible] ... some bitch.
5 year Old: Bitch! Bitch!
Mom: ...

Birth Control Really is a Lovely Thing
I was sitting next to a classmate that was moaning about the difficulty of a nursing class. She asked me if I thought that the class was hard.
Me: Well, I have an advantage. I don't have kids to distract me.
Her: You don't have kids at home?
Me: Nope.
Her: Do they live somewhere else?
Me: Uh, no. I don't have any kids.
Her: Grown kids? [Note: grown kids aren't uncommon for a 32-year-old here.]
Me: No, no kids at all.
Her: Wow. Don't you even have stepkids?
Me: No. I'm not married.
Her: Are you divorced?
Me: No, I've never been married.
Her: Never? How old are you?
Me: 32
Her: Are you still a virgin?

Water Water Everywhere

Actually, there isn't any flooding in Sioux City... we just got some really pretty thunderstorms and that was about it. The Little Sioux boy scout ranch is a ways away and we weren't hit.

I felt raelly guilty, actually. I was really hoping that something would strike down a lot closer. The hospital got put on a “Sky Alert” and I was disappointed that I wasn't there to help move everyone into the halls. When I heard about what happened the next day, however, talking to the doctors who helped really drove the point home that something like this isn't all excitement and is all tragedy. Because the hikers were kids who didn't carry any type of ID, notification of families was delayed and 12 horus later one boy's family still hadn't been told. That image really hit me hard-- of a mother who didn't know if her boy was alive or dead, or where he even was. So the next time that I look at a dark cloud it won't be with anticipatory excitement but with that image in my mind.

Funny to think that I used to be terrified of lightening and tornados. I guess I used to be afraid of a lot of things.

The flooding in the news is on the Eastern part of the state, and so we've only been affected in that a lot of our doctors and nurses are heading over there, leaving a shortage here. I wish that I could go and help-- the fact that I have classes sounds like a pretty lame excuse even to me.

Hey! Leave Them Streets Alone!

Nothing new to report, really.

A few weeks ago I was awoken by some yelling outside my window at around 6AM. I live in a rather "colorful" part of town and the yelling was "Hey! You're a @#$%ing drug dealer! Get out of here, you @#$%ing drug dealer!!" I peeked out my window to get a look at the @#$%ing drug dealer and saw that my car was the only one parked on the street. So thank you, Mr. @#$%ing Drug Dealer, you prevented my car from getting towed as an hour later there was no longer a street outside my apartment.

I spent the day watching the men tear things up. Now I am not one to oogle workmen (for more reasons then one) but it is an attestment to my geekhood that I found the machinery-- especially the Excavator very graceful. They were like huge dinosaurs tearing up the street, moving so smoothly that it was easy to forget that they were controlled by humans and a few gears. If you ever see one, you should stop and watch it for a bit.

The streets in Sioux City are so bad that even George W. Bush-- who is in a bad position to complain about anything American-- pointed out that the city was wonderful but needed the potholes fixed. Like most statements made by Bush, I disagree. The only redeeming qualities that Sioux City has to offer are for the most part being dismantled by the Republicans (such as the library funding.)
Anyway, I am hoping that they take all summer to fix the street as while there isn't a street there aren't any drug dealers screaming up to people at my window. It's been a quiet summer.

The Sioux City Walking Tour

I thought that this weekend would be a good weekend for the Sioux City Walking Tour. At the museum, I found a few brochures that had maps and “historical areas” in Sioux City. It was cold at the time, so I filed them away for a sunny say. The weather finally turned decent recently-- after snow on April 25th, I was starting to wonder.

So I took the maps off the shelves, dusted them off, and had a look. My first thought was that wandering around looking at what really is a bunch of identical buildings wouldn't be very interesting. I looked at one in particular on the corner of Nebraska and 3rd and thought “Hey, wait a minute, I have been to this corner about a zillion times and I have never seen that building before.” It was then that I noticed the fine print: “Buildings in italics are no longer in existence.” Great. Of the 16 buildings that I am supposed to trek around the city to look at, only 5 of them exist and one of those is the warehouse district-- famous, yes-- famous for it's smell.

And let me give you a sample of the “historical” narrative that this pamphlet boasts. Here is the listing for one of the remaining buildings: The Warrior Hotel on the corner of 6th and Nebraska.

Warrior Hotel, 1955 Constructed as the Fontenelle Hotel in 1930, it was known as the Warrior Hotel by the time it opened in 1931. Omaha hotel magnate Eugene C. Eppley purchased the Warrior during the mid-1930's. Eppley hotels sold the Warrior to the Sheraton Corporation of America in 1956, after which time it was called the Sheraton-Warrior. In the late 1960s Sioux City contractors Jospeth and Frank Audino purchased the hotel and renamed it the Aventino Motor Inn. The building has been empty since 1972.

Oh sure, Kim, you are probably thinking, pick the most boring listing and of course it looks bad.Sadly, the rest of the listings are like this: a history of who bought and sold the building and a history of the various names and owners of the property. Some of the more exciting entries talk about elevators being rebuilt, but that really is the extent of it.

So, in other words, the best that Sioux City can do is to lead me on a tour of the city looking at where a bunch of rather drab and boring buildings used to be before they got torn down. Wonderful. Sign me up. Underground Tour, Seattle, watch out-- you've got some real competition here in Sioux City.

where the F@&! have u been?

That was the greeting that Sonia left on my Facebook wall this morning, Sonia having apparently forgotten the virtues of email. (True, I can't really talk.) It's a fair question, actually... A question that I have more or less been asking myself.

Sioux City continues to be a rather sizable disappointment. It's a living testament to why Wal-marts are a bad thing. Seriously, Micheal Moore should come here to shoot his next documentary on large-business centralization and the havoc that it can cause on the character of a town. After visiting the rather pathetic Sioux City museum, I picked up a few "walking maps" of the "historic" 4th and 6th streets. The fact that they are historic is really the only thing that is going for them, as every possible business has either closed or is in the process of closing as more and more people are getting into their cars and driving to the malls outside of town.

The social scene isn't much better. Walking home the other day, someone threw a rock or something at me while they were driving past. I keep falling on the ice and the bystanders keep watching with bored interest and no concern. Sarah pointed out that if we were 19 or had kids it might be different-- as things stand right now, people aren't quite sure what to do with us. And don't get me started on the dating scene. Since the men seem to have a tendency to knock their girlfriends up I have been sticking to girls, but all the lesbians here are catty, gossipy, and mean.

Another reason that I have been away is that work is hell. There is some sort of flu plague that has hit Sioux City and everyone and their grandmother seems to be landing on my floor at the hospital. I heard on NPR the other day that everyone who bothered getting a flu shot might have well been injected with water-- the strains that they predicted would strike this year were wrong and as a result we were all inoculated with the wrong dead virus. As a result, I've been forced to hand out about ten complete bed baths a morning as the hospital refused to crawl to a temp agency to give us a few more techs.

So, two years of nursing school (two years minus two months actually) and I am outta here. Sarah's trying to leave earlier then that-- she's a big help. I suggested that she dump her three year program and join me in my two year AAN program and get her BSN later and she just laughed at me.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you that wished me a happy b-day and demanded that I update my blog. I didn't think that my life was that interesting, and it's nice to know that you guys disagree.

Hey It's Beginning To Snow

The first words out of my mouth on this first day of December weren't “Rabbit Rabbit” but rather “Holy Crap” as I looked out my window and saw that about two inches of snow had fallen over the night. The first snow is always a surprise for me, even this time when the weather people had been talking about it all day yesterday. I was exciting, having not seen snow in such a long time, especially Midwest snow (the Seattle stuff hardly counts). In fact, I think that I am the only person in Iowa over twelve who was actually excited about the snow. On Friday, when I mentioned to a patient that we were getting snow the next she ordered me so sternly not to use four-letter-words at work that for a moment I thought that she was serious as was going to tell my boss.

The first day of snow comes with a tradition of taking the day off and sitting at home sipping cocoa and listening to Christmas carols. I had to forgo the tradition this year as, like Thanksgiving, people still get sick on the first day of snow. It's actually quite nice to have a job where the world might actually stop spinning (for one person, at least) if I don't show up for work that day. Although it's a lot of responsibility, it's nice to know that the work that I am doing actually needs to be done-- something that can't be said for snake handling, writing tools for video games and teaching English to people in non-English speaking villages that rely on elephants for transportation.

I haven't really talked about my job too much... I am a nursing assistant (or a nursing “tech”) at a local hospital, and I really love it. I give baths, change beds, provide comfort, help people around, take vitals (blood pressures, temperatures, and so on). I get to do tech stuff to, like take EKGs, bladder scans, and play with catheters. I am also generally the one that will be the first to note an emergency, and so the most important part of my job is to be alert for that. Basically I am a cross between an orderly and a nurse. I do all the things that nurses are generally credited with besides giving medications. What I like the most is that I am in a position to help a person who is scared, in pain, or upset. And the best part of my job is that when I go to sleep at night, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have done something that day to make the world a better place, and got paid for it too!

Kim is a CNA!!

It's been a while since my last update, mostly because I have been terribly busy. The first exciting piece of news is that, despite many setbacks and obstacles, I am a CNA, a certified nursing assistant. The obstacles that I speak of were all placed by Western Iowa Technical College (WIT) in Sioux City (I am hoping to get some Google hits on that lousy school-- if you are considering getting a CNA degree there do yourself a favour and email me first) who did everything in their power to prevent me from finishing the class. First they tried to cancel the class. Then they tried to push back clinicals for a week because someone was too lazy to call a nurse and get us medically cleared to volunteer in a nursing home. Then, come the day of the test, they didn't bother to sign us up. Although technically it was our fault because we were supposed to sign ourselves up, my entire class showed up at the test without having signed up, indicating that there was a breakdown in communication somewhere.
I had a cow. The reason behind my cow was that I was supposed to start orientation at a local hospital and my starting hinged on my passing the CNA test. I did manage to bully my way into the skills test, but I had to drive two hours to a different college to take my written because WIT was too lazy to sign me up themselves. It's a miracle that I passed my skills test. After fighting with administration they finally let me into the room although the rather unpleasant administrator commented that I was both lying about my employment and that "it wasn't right". She sat down and I realized with horror that she was the one administering the test. She was determined to fail me. I did a great job-- I did everything right, didn't forget a thing-- but I still got an 80%. Fine with me, I just needed a 70% to pass.
I remember working in Samoa and failing a student who didn't turn in a homework assignment on time. Although I was very clear about the due date and the consequences, she complained to administration and I was brought into the office and talked to be the dean. I showed her the syllabus and explained that I had been very clear about the due date. She listened to me, and then told me that the point of the class was for the students to learn, and that I needed to question that before all else. I admitted that the student had done the assignment correctly and reluctantly accepted it. At the time I thought that she was being unfair. Now I am glad that I got that lesson, and I was reminded f it during this CNA bullcrap. It's so easy to get wrapped up behind the red tape that you forget what you started to do. It's something that I need to try and remember as I do my job.
My job! I am working at a local hospital as a CNA. I really love it. It's hard to imagine that I would find something that is more satisfying then teaching, but working in a hospital is it. I pulled a 12-hour shift on Thanksgiving, and I have to say that although the patients and their families felt sorry that I had to work, it was actually one of the nicer Thanksgivings that I have had. I was working on rehab, where people who need to relearn basic skills after injury (how to walk, how to dress, how to make a bed, etc) have physical and occupational therapy. Maybe they had a broken bone, a stroke, or are learning to deal with a disability. All my patients have one thing in common-- they don't want to be here on Thanksgiving. I was thankful that I was able to help them, to talk to them, to hopefully make them feel a little less lonely. (It also gave me a chance to be thankful that I could walk. A nice way to put things in perspective.)
Anyway, I'll write more about my great job later. Until then, happy belated Thanksgiving and merry early Christmas!

The People of Sioux City Have Spoken...

The People of Sioux City have spoken... and they want change. Yesterday was the first mayoral race in 53 years (previously they'd been assigned by comittee) and incumbents were tossed out and replaced. It was a pretty pathetic election, actually-- the turnout was only 21%. The new mayor only won by 374 votes out of the 9212 votes cast.

Not that I can take a real high moral ground here. To get me to the polls, not only did Sarah have to call me to remind me, but she also had to drive me, bribe me with Starbucks, and had to tell me who to vote for because I was too lazy to research the canidates myself. Aside from mayor, we had a coucilman to pick. We went for some guy named Rochester who, as Sarah put it, was "less anti-gay" then the guy currently in office. Slim pickings here in SUX City.

When I got to my class after the election and asked my classmates it they'd voted they looked at me like I was crazy and informed me that the elections were NEXT November.

Rabbit Rabbit

This morning was the first morning in my life that I said "Rabbit Rabbit" when I woke up. You are supposed to say that as the first thing that you say on the first day of a month, but I have never remembered. It's supposed to bring good luck, so this November is off too a positive start already.

You can read about the superstition here. Wikipedia says that "Some have also believed [the superstition] is representing a jumping into the future and moving ahead with life and happiness." Things are starting to look up for me and my nursing career, so I think that this is a good sign.

I had my first clinical on Tuesday, and it went really well. This was for my Certified Assistant Nursing course. This is just a 75-hour certification course that I am taking to work as a Nurses Aide in the hospital and get some nursing experience while I take courses. The class is almost done-- I aced the theory section, and now we get six “clincials” or classes in a practical setting-- in my case, a nursing home.

Even after just a few hours I have already learned so much. I as assigned to a gentleman who needed help eating. He did not speak, and I didn't know why. At first I was actually a little jealous of the other students who were assisting with the more vocal residents who gave animated feedback-- the only feedback that I got from “my guy” was to see if he opened his mouth when I brought food to his lips. If he didn't open his mouth, he didn't want it.

Eventually I started to talk to him. I told him about why I came to Sioux City, what I thought of nursing, what I thought of the town, what I thought about the food that he was eating. I blabbled on about how I was trying to drink more milk after reading about the benefits of calcium in my Anatomy and nutrition courses. I talked about the different food groups and told him what he was getting. Eventually I asked a rhetorical question and was shocked when he grunted in agreement. Up until that moment, I had assumed that since he didn't talk, he didn't listen and he didn't understand. Although as a student I had vowed that I wouldn't make that mistake (I was one of the few in the class that talked to the CPR dummies, or “Annies”) I had just made it. That was one of the best lessons that I learned in the class, and it came from a teacher with no degree.

Life Sux

(For those of you that are fortunate enough to not live in this god forsaken town, SUX is the airport and international code for Sioux City.)

No, things aren't going well but they've recently crossed the line into where they are going so badly it's funny. I had to find a new place, I'm flunking nutrition, I still can't find a job (although I have gotten a bunch of very lovely rejection letters from Mercy), my car is in the shop, and it's getting cold.

The place where I was staying didn't work out, and I wanted to try to find a new place before the end of the month. I looked at the ads and found a cheap furnished place near my school and went to check it out. When I got there, it took me a few seconds to pinpoint what was wrong with it-- no kitchen. I shrugged and thanked the nice man for his time and went to look at a few more places. But that little one-room "apartment" kept popping back into my mind. It was cheap, available, and actually quite well furnished with a bed, dresser, chairs and tables. It did have a fridge and a microwave. And all the utilities were paid, which in my mind translated nicely to three less things to remember every month. In the end, I decided to take it. I found a $9.99 single electric range at Walgreens and now I am all set, assuming that I can ignore the fact that I have to do my dishes in the bathtub. Fortunately I just got back from a place where food was cooked over open flame and I haven't had time to get picky.

Not only that, but I have irrefutable evidence that god hates me. It happened while I was driving to my new place. IO was in my car, everything I own in the backseat and was stopped at a light at the corner of my new place when I heard a loud pop. At first I thought that I was being shot at, but having lived in warzones I was enough of a gunshot connoisseur to know that the sound wasn't just right. My second thought was that something in my luggage was compressed and had exploded. I turned around to look at the back seat to check my stuff and I saw that my entire back windshield was completely shattered.

No, I have no idea how it happened. The people at the glass place are pretty clueless as well. The obvious answer is a rock, but rocks don't come flying at you on their own when you are at a standstill at a stoplight. This isn't Hogwarts. The light changed and I pulled into the apartment parking lot. I got out of the car, staring open-mouthed at what used to be my back window and was now a mass of spiderwebed glass. My one consolation was that the glass was still intact (thanks to the safety glass combined with the defrosting wiring) and that it would remain that way for a few days until I finished moving in. As I had this thought, I closed the driver side door and the entire window fell out of the frame into the backseat.

I'm starting to think that maybe I should have just stayed in Thailand.

You've Got To Be Kidding

After more then three weeks of waiting, I finally got an interview for a nursing position at a local big hospital. As being an Secretary/Energy Clerk/Temp Worker is getting old real quick (see next post) I placed a ton of hope on the interview. Three different outfits, two showers, and no less then fifteen minutes of practice in front of a mirror later, I finally got into the car and drove to the hospital's HR department.

I made a great, impression, if I do say so myself. My interviewer was a Peace Corps wanna-be and had a bunch of questions about my background. Everything that flew out of my mouth was perfect-- the fact that I was a nursing student didn't hurt none neither. Anyway, the interview quickly took a downturn when she discovered my full-time-student-status and came to understand that I couldn't work full time or weekdays. The nursing assistant position that I was interviewing for required that.

But never fear. The hospital is a big place, and while opening a thick file marked “open positions”, my interview told me that there were many opportunities. She glanced through my resume, looked at my work history, and flipped a few pages. Here, she told me, was a perfect opportunity. Part time, mostly weekends. Good pay. Challenging. Flexible. I was all excited until she closed the book and leaned towards me, completely serious...

“How does a Unit Secretary sound? With your computer skills you'd be perfect...”

Adventures of a Tyson Temp

My job continues on. It is still depressing, but now for a new reason. You see, as a job it's actually rather hard. I'd say about 75% of it is entering lists of numbers into different lists and that part is difficult in it's mindlessness and tedium. But when I am not doing that, I am doing work that really requires every bit of my critical thinking and logic skills-- which, if I do say so myself, are considerable. For example, I might have to enter a number. I don't know where the number is supposed to come from. So I have to go to the previous month, look at that number, and then pull the records from that month and hunt for the number. Sometimes I find the number-- that's the easy one. Usually, however, the number is actually two numbers added together, a number multiplied by another number (which can range from the easy: a 0.1 multiplier or the impossible, a 42 multiplier). Or sometimes the number is wrong. From what I am seeing, my predecessor was a real idiot and made lots of mistakes. Another part of my job is fixing all the mistakes that she made.

Every now and again I get a monthly report and a few of the numbers invariably don't match up with mine. At this point I have to go back into the weekly reports and find the wrong numbers. These numbers were taken from the difference in a meter reading, so I have to compare the start and end meter readings until I find one that was keyed in wrong. The meter readings are about 8 numbers long. (I am impressed, by the way, if you have managed to read this far.) The highlight of my day is when I find a mistake and I get to rip a new one into some poor meter-reading clerk in Texas or somewhere.

So why is this depressing? Well, I have determined that you need a college degree to be able to handle this job. The reason that it's depressing is that I know that the fifty or so people that sit around me are doing basically the same jobs. It depresses me to think that four years of college and lofty dreams and ambitions this is the best that they can do, and they are probably going to be stuck here for the rest of their lives, arguing with Texan energy clerks about broken meters and how many pounds of edible product where produced in the week ending 10/21/07. That's why I'm depressed. Those poor people.

I Just got the Clep

I just took a CLEP exam. CLEP stands for "College Level Examination Program" and is the new way to get out of college credits. English Composition was one of the courses that I needed and I flat out refused to take it after 3 years of teaching English. I figured that I would ace the exam but got books from the library anyway.

(Man, I love the library. I can't believe that before I left America I used to just take such a wonderful resource for granted. Take it from me, kids. Go and visit your local library today. And give them money. They probably deserve it.)

Anyway, I took the first practice test and got a 70%. That wasn't great, but not bad either. I did some studying and took another test and got a 67% More studying and testing later caused my grade to sink down to 61% I decided to just stop studying at that point and just take the damn test.

Let me give you an example of one of the evil little questions that the test offers. See if you can see the problem before moving on:

In today's modern world, it can be rather difficult to connect with friends, family, and peers.


Highlight for the answer: The answer is that modern should be struck as redundant. Now although I can certainly see why the test writer would feel that way, I think that it's a debatable point and standardized multiple-choice questions should not be debatable! Modern can mean "from today" or it can serve as an adjective-- the opposite of "classic". Jane is a classic dresser in jeans and a sweater, Electra is a modern dresser in a leather skirt and boots. They can be wearing clothes that were designed and made on the same day, just bought in different stores

Having said all that, I am actually a lot more amiable towards the exam since I scored a 71/80. The girl at the desk was pretty impressed, as the passing requirements were only set at 50. If only they had a test for Anatomy...

Welcome to the Jungle

Well, I finally got a job. I am working for Tyson Meats. No, I am not on the line slaughtering cows-- I'm not that desperate, although after two weeks of unemployment I was beginning to worry that it might come to that. The job market here is terrible!! I guess that Gateway (remember them?) took off and left a ton of computer workers here. So the skills that I thought would be very much in demand are actually a dime a dozen. Plus no computer biz wants to hire a nursing student, even if they did used to work for Microsoft. They know that they aren't going to get their 110%.

It's just 16 hours a week, which might actually work well for me since I am taking three classes (Nursing Assistant, Developmental Psychology, and Nutrition). I basically sit at a desk all day and enter data from the individual plants into spreadsheets while wondering why they just don't network all the systems so that the data gets automatically entered the first time that it is entered in. I thought about suggesting this but then thought better when I realized that such a change will cost me my job. I am taking a measly $9 and hour, which is the highest paid job that I have had in three years and only the third-lowest paying job that I have had in my life.

It is rather depressing, however. The first item that goes into the spreadsheet is "Heads Slaughtered" followed by a very big number. I spent eight hours today cataloging all the thousands cows and pigs were killed to allow me to earn my $9 an hour. The detached way that they were listed as slaughtered, processed, and turned into "lbs. of product" seemed so cold, especially when I considered that aside from me there was probably no one else who stopped to think that it was a shame that cow #6734 out of 214,539 cows had to die.

Other then that things are slow. Went to get my physical for nursing school and was amazed that the long and somewhat uncomfortable method of taking a temperature from when I was a kid has been basically reduced to waving a wand over the forehead. Was also amazed that they managed to somehow make the TB test even more uncomfortable then it already was. The things that change after three years overseas...

Basic Life Support

Nursing goes well on Garretson Ave. Sarah finished her CNA course, loved it, and I will be starting it in about a week. CNA stand for "Certified Nursing Aide". A CNA generally works in a long-term care facility (like a nursing home) to provide care for the residents. Not exactly in my long term plan, but I think that working as a CNA will provide me with clinical experience that will help me a lot in my nursing courses.

Every little bit helps. Although it was MORE then 10 years ago (ack!) my limited stunt as an EMT is actually really turning out to help me. In the EMT course and working I probably took about 100 blood pressures, and the techniques that I used helped Sarah a lot in that part of her skills exam. It also helped me ace my BLS course that I took yesterday.

BLS, "Basic Life Support" is what most people think of general CPR. This class that I took yesterday was a bit terrifying. Things have changed since I left for Samoa-- they now teach us how to use AED (Automated External Defibrillator) but was really worrisome is how much they dumbed down the procedures. Although we were told that the new guidelines were just as effective, I really felt that they simply simplified the steps to a point where a trained service dog could probably be taught to give CPR. Which is great in that more people can give CPR-- but since effective CPR will break ribs and likely cause internal damage, is this really something that you want ANYONE to be able to do?

The instructor walked in an immediately assured the students that there was nothing to worry about in the class. She told us that the point of the class was to help us pass the test. "Don't worry, we WANT you to pass!" This alone got the red lights flashing in my brain-- I thought that the point was to learn how to save lives. Oh well, minor point. The new system is actually improved in that you spend a majority of time watching videos and practicing and lectures are actually cut down to almost nothing. The test is also better-- more common sense and "what do you do next" questions. Still, I seem to remember in the last BLS class I took in Seattle there was a lot more information and the skills were a lot more complex.

But the most important difference was that back then you didn't get the card unless you really knew what you were doing. We had one woman who didn't even pass the test and the instructor went over her wrong answers and made her do it again. Eek! I hope I don't collapse in front of her!

If you ask me, it's this results-oriented rather then process-oriented approach to problem solving that is ripping our society apart.

My Triumphant Arrival

Finally got the hell out of Chiang Mai and said goodbye to Thailand. My journey home was surreal... it was only about 15 hours by the watch. I left on the 12th and managed to travel back in time while in the air to the 11th just to have the 12th roll around again.

Anyway I am touched that you guys have been bugging me to keep up my blog even though I am in boring old America. Sioux City Iowa is truly scary in it's lack of anything to do... thank god that Sarah is here. Today we went to a chili bake off. Half of the free weekend paper is devoted to chili-based debates (beans or no beans?) and so I guess that's it's a pretty big deal here. Sure you guys want me to keep up this blog?

Why I Hate Chiang Mai

Well, I decided to "treat" myself by spending a few days in Chiang Mai before I left. Big mistake. I had forgetten how much I hate this town. In fact I think that the last 24 hours can be summerized as following: WAAHHH!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!

Rudeness persists. When I got to the guesthouse that I was supposed to stay at the woman did everything in her power to not let me stay. She saw my many bags and told me that she didn't have a room on the first floor. I told her that was fine, any floor was fine. She said that had a room on the 3rd floor. I sighed but then said that the third floor was fine. Wait, there wasn't a room on the third floor. Whatever, I said, just give me any room. She informed me that there was no bathroom in the room. Okay, I said. She told me that I would have to go across the hall to the shared bathroom if I wanted to take a shower. Great, I said, and I pulled out my wallet but she sighed loudly insisted that I look at the room first. I got the feeling that she was hoping I would change my mind. I was sweaty and tired but I didn't feel like arguing so I went upstairs, unlocked the door, looked inside, and came down with money in hand. When it was obvious that she wasn't going to get rid of my she reluctantly gave me a key and took my money, including a 100 baht deposit. She told that I could go to the room and take a shower. Yes, I got the hint. She also said that I could carry one bag, then come down and carry another. I smiled and thanked her as graciously as I could for the advice, which I then proceeded to follow. She watched me like a hawk, I guess to make sure that I indeed carried everything one at a time.

The good news is that I went to the dentist and was told that I have no cavities. I was happy and proud until she pointed out that due to the number of fillings that I have there are no more places for cavities to hide. I celebreated with a mocha smoothy (extra sugar) anyway.

Then I went to NES (The New Zealand English School) in Chiang Mai to try to claim the 5000 baht that was owed me. (I wasn't able to pick it in March since I had to leave so quickly.) Things went pretty fast downhill from there and I remembered why it will be a cold day in hell before I ever teach English again for cash. The director, Paul Chan, came out of his office and yelled at me, then told me that I should ask another teacher who spoke English, despite the fact that his English was fine. The receptionist told me that I should visit the office that I worked at. So, I went there and pretty much learned that they keep no available records and the time card was lost. I didn't really beleive this and pressed them a bit, and the director came in and came in to speak to me. He asked me what I wanted him to do. I asked him if there was a record that I worked there. At this point he started yelling and cursing at me saying that "he didn't give a fuck" and finally told me that he was going to get me "tied up and kicked out of Thailand". I asked him where this was coming from and two police came in that he'd apparently called before he came to talk to me. At this point I relized that I wasn't getting paid.

I sat in the office with the police wondering if it was possible for me to enter a country and not get arrested for something. The manager Paul Chan was screaming at them in Thai and it occured to me that for all I knew he could be saying that killed someone or stole something. I broke in, asking for a policeman who could speak English. A call to the tourist police got this. I was told what I already knew... I was free to go, I was not going to be tied up, and I wasn't getting paid since it was basically my word agaist to the director, who told me to "kiss my ass". I have never seen someone go so far to avoid paying someone.

I was pissed, but there's nothing I can do. I mean, it's only about $150, but damn it-- it was MY $150 that I worked damn hard for sitting in a hot classroom for 20 hours with a group of students that frankly were the worst I ever came across in my brief (and OVER, thank god) teaching career.

I wanna go home.

Goodbye CLC...

Well here it is, the last email that I will write from CLC's powerful and rather strange (but much appreciated) satilite dish. Tomorrow morning at 6AM I will hop onto a bus that will take to me to a bus that will take me to Chiang Mai. I decided to spend a few days days there. Among other things, I want to see the famous Wat Dai Sutup (or something like that) which is apparently the "thing to see" thing in Northern Thailand. (I am not too hopeful as I have yet to meet a tourist who talks up the temple more then they talk up getting wasted in Pai.) Early Wednesday morning I will hop on a plane and get back to America to start my new nursing adventure. Stay tuned!

Thanks everyone for following me around Thailand... see you on the flip side...

It's my party... I'll pass on the crying.

Kyaw Hlu Sien made the students throw me a goodbye party which unfortunately turned out to be an awkward affair. Despite the fact that I has specifically asked for no party, he told them to throw one anyway and didn't even bother to tell me-- I found out secondhand from a student. The food was great, but the entire time I sat there wishing that I had just taken off a week early and announced my departure with a note.

The Karenni Math teacher, Soray, ran the thing like a business meeting. He stood up and said stuff like "we don't have an agenda" and "this meeting is to thank our teacher, uh--" he stumbled over my name-- "Kim, and say goodbye." He asked the students to make speeches. Class 1, who I didn't have this year, get into an argument over who would have to do it. Yoom lost and stood up and said some forgettable things. Class 2 and 3 were better prepared and had their speeches written. Their speeches were a lot more thought out but unfortunately they didn't write them. Nee Eh could barely make it through hers, so peppered was it with new words. I appreciated the time that they had put into them but would have liked a speech that was made of their own words, even if there were mistakes.

I think that the worst bit, however, was when it came time for the teachers to give speeches. My expat compatriots couldn't do better then yelling out "Kim Rocks!" which was hardly moving. Soray, however, proved that this was indeed better then something. He alluded to something during our last meeting and I was pretty shocked by the event that he'd picked-- during the meeting Soray asked the teachers to come up with a schedule for testing. We'd already been in the meeting for an hour and I was getting tired. After some hmming and hawing I finally jumped up and the room watched in silence as a drew up a schedule for the week that allowed the classes to take their tests. After I sat down Soray told me that "this wasn't the way it was done here" and drew up a new schedule which I felt was lacking since it involved one teacher having three exams at once. "Then why did you bother asking me?" I wanted to say. I was surprised and hurt when Soray talked about this as the event that apparently defined my experience as a teacher ere. He said something about "cultures coming together" and I realized suddenly that the event was actually rather telling of my time here-- my opinion is asked then ignored because "it's not the way things are done here." Then why am I here? Good question. Throughout the three years one of the things that I am bothered by the most is being shown off as the resident American. I guess I am expected to just be white and be quiet.

Unfortunately, I am leaving way too late. I should have probably left about a month ago when I realized that teaching English was no longer something that I wanted to do. I have been really unhappy and I think that I will miss teaching about as I will miss shaking cockroaches out of my clothes in the orning. I just wish that I wasn't ending this whole thing on such a sour note.

Why'd it have to be snakes?

Note: This is a picture from the web: this is NOT my picture! I was watching over my class as they worked on a writing assignment today when I heard my cat calling for me. I poked my head outside and called to him so that he could find me, and he came running. At the same time, I looked down and saw a black snake about the size of my arm. Length-wise, that is, it wasn't as thick as my arm. In fact, it wasn't all that thick it all which told me that it was too skinney to be a constrictor and too big to survive on small animals like mice-- therefore, it was most likely poisonous. I darted forward to intercept the cat but was too late. Fortunately, the cat was too focused on my to notice the snake and it crawled away, but not before I noticed it's neck flatten out briefly. Good god, this snake was a cobra! I had no idea that they even existed in Thailand, so I did a quick search and found that they are actually quite common and quite poisonous. I am pretty sure that what I saw was an Indochinese Spitting Cobra, or Naja siamensis. Note that the picture is NOT the snake that I saw, but rather a picture that I found on the internet. I found out that "Naja siamensis possesses a deadly poison. In addition, the spitting of poison can lead to damage to the corneas." It then drove the point home by adding a triple skull-and-crossbones. Pretty cool, huh?

Everyone who knows me knows that snakes have never bothered me, but that isn't true for all other critters. I am really proud of how far I have come since I started traveling. True, I screamed at a spider the other day but only because it was about the size of my palm and crawling up my leg while I was reading. Another spider (black and yellow) ambushed me in bed and I just pounded on it with my fist and went back to my book. I remember when I first got to Samoa and found my first giant cockroach. I screamed and ran out of the room and got one of the boys to kill it and afterwards would have to spend ten minutes psyching myself up to enter the bathroom. Yesterday, when I was packing, a comparable bug crawled into my bag. I felt around picked it up by a wing, yelled at it, then tossed the thing outside. I wonder how long it will be after I get to the states until I go back to my old, arachnophobic self?