They Hate Us, You Know

I was walking down the street a few days ago with a friend when some young boys hung their heads out the car window and whistled at us. I ignored this but my friend sighed and told me "They hate us, you know." She went on to say that Yemen was the most intolerant place she's ever lived. I didn't agree with her at first, but now I'm not so sure.

It was a pretty shocking thing for her to say, especially since I was more or less under the impression that I was a welcome visitor to this country. But talking to her made me realize a few things... namely that the horn honking and the "hey baby"'s mean something a little different here.

After living in Samoa for so long I more or less got used to the unwanted attention and stares. However, something that hadn't occurred to me was that in Yemen, unlike Samoa, it isn't really cool to sleep with as many westerners as humanly possible, and it certainly isn't cool to brag about it. Rather, it is Shame, and most things sexual-- from sleeping with someone to hooting at someone on the street-- isn't really something that any man-- even a teenaged one-- would be proud of. In Samoa you called out to palagis to impress your friends. Here, no one is going to be impressed. No, the whistling and the cat calling has a different meaning here.

After I saw it that way, things started to look different. The stares are starting to look a little more hostile and a little less curious. The anti-American sentiments that I hear seems a little more pointed and I find myself feeling like an idiot-- did I really think that I could just stroll into this country and everyone would like me? Did I really think that just because I have certain views and actions people would treat me differently? You can't get into Yemen if you have a Israeli stamp in your passport-- even if you were working in Palestine-- and neither the government nor the people have a problem with this. It's politics, just like anywhere else. We are judged by our appearance here just like anywhere else. Am I such an "Ugly American" that I didn't forsee that?

Anyway, don't get me wrong. I have a lot of friends here although it's hard to be friends with the woman (who can't leave the house and who you can't hang out with) and it's harder to be friends with the men who people will assume you are sleeping with, thereby bringing shame to their family.

One of my students, Aziz, took some of my friends to Old Yemen to see Ramadan at night. I didn't go because I was tired and I assumed (correctly, as it turns out) that night at Babel Yemen would be like any other night. Anyway, Aziz and my friends (all western girls) went into a shared taxi and their way to the gate. A woman sat next to Aziz and according to him (admittedly Aziz can exaggerate sometimes) the women started questioning him about the girls. He asked him if he was sleeping with them. When he said that no, they are my teachers, she said that he should stay away from us, that we do bad things and that we come from evil places. Not entirely inaccurate, I will concede. Still, how much is said behind my back when there isn't someone who can translate the conversation for me later?

PS: Who the hell is Anne Nicole Smith and why won't the news shut up about her?