Update from Samoa

I found this old email, and thought that I would pass it along as an update to my time in Samoa.  A sister of my Samoan mother wrote me to let me know that my Samoan grandmother, Fetu, passed away.  Although she was never officially diagnosed, Fetu suffered from Alzheimer's and was cared for at home by my Samoan family.

Hi There Kimberely,


My name is Tui Filemoni I am one of many daughter in-laws of Fetu. I was asked by Talosia Sini in Nuusuatia to get in contact with you to inform you of the family's sad loss of Fetu. Who sadly passed away in Samoa on the 11 January 2008. Talosia sends her sincere apologise for not being able to get in contact with you sooner, and also asked to send her love onto you. I do apologise myself for being the one to inform you of our mum, but am pleased my sister Talosia has asked me to do this for her as she expressed you had deep love for our mum. I am in contact with Talosia quite alot so if you wish for me to relay any message to her and the family back in Samoa, please do so, would love to repay the favor for you.


Many best wishes from the Fetu Filemoni family


Tui Filemoni


Dear Tui,

Thank you so much for writing. I was so sorry to hear that Fetu passed way. I actually work at a hospital and we get a lot of elderly patients, most of which have Alheimers like Fetu had. For these poor people, they live in nursing homes and they have no one to care for them. When they come to the hospital they are very confused, and many of them are screaming for help. I try to help them, but I know that what they really need is to be at home in a familiar place with people who love them.

And then I think of Fetu. I am pretty sure that she also had Alheimers, but unlike the poor, lost, scared souls at the hospital she was at home, and she was with people who loved her dearly, and that made me so happy. She was such a lucky person to have so much love in her life. Many times people with Alheimers will become confused-- they will swear, and hit-- but this is just the disease. When I think of Fetu lying in her fale, tapping the floor, singing and saying prayers, it always makes me smile and feel glad that she was able to have so much support for such a terrible disease. I remember that I would teach Anne songs on a flute and after hearing them a few times, Fetu would be singing and tapping away with us.

I know that it must have been so difficult for Talosia to care for her mother when her mother was so different, and I hope that Talosia knows that it was the disease that made her mother do strange things. But when I work with people who have the same sickness here, in America, I always wish for them what Fetu had. I wish for them that their families would show even a little of the care and respect that Fetu's family gave her. That is something that I always remember when I think back to Samoa and to my family in Niusuatia-- the love and devotion that is shown to each other-- even to me, a stranger. So although I am very sad that she died, it always makes me so happy to know that Fetu had so much love at a time when she needed it the most.

Please tell Talosia that I am living in Iowa, and that I am studying to be a nurse. This may sound a little crazy, but I think that I started thinking about being a nurse when Angel got sick right when I first got to Samoa. She was so hot, so sick. I guess that something like that is normal in a country like Samoa, but for me I had never seen a child so sick and it made me scared. I went to Apia and found some children's fever medication, and the next day when I got back from school Angel ran out of the house and threw herself into my arms, not a trace of fever left. Ever since then I always felt that I wanted to help children everywhere get better. I am going to a school in Sioux City, Iowa called St. Luke's College, and to pay for school I work as a nursing assistant at St. Luke's Hospital. It's a Methodist hospital. :) I have about a year and a half left, then a few years working in the states before I travel again.

After I left Samoa I went to Yemen, then Thailand. It was so hard to leave Samoa, but it was something that I had to do. I felt bad that I left so quickly, but I was offered a job that needed me right away. I am glad that I have had the chance to travel so much, but everywhere that I have been I have never found anyone who cared about me so much as my family in Niusuatia.

Tima

PS:
Did you know that you can see Talosia's house on Googlemaps?
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&q=samoa&ie=UTF8&ll=-13.983696,-171.838735&spn=0.002415,0.00346&t=h&z=18