Kim's Ramadan Daydream

"What are you going to do when you get off the plane?" is a common question that expats get when people find out that they are going home after being away for a while. Well, I'm not planning a trip home but Becky and I did decide what we are going to do. This little plan was hatched while trying to walk down Hadda street one night after being whistled at, ripped off and generally gawked at.

First, I am going to find the area in my neighborhood where there is the highest population of Middle Easterners (preferably Yemenis) and I am going to first drive around said neighborhood and every time I see someone who looks like they might be of Middle Eastern decent I am going to lean on the horn, screech to a stop and scream "Marhaban!" ("Welcome!") at them regardless of how long they look like they have lived there. When this gets old, I am going to get out of the car and wander around the town saying "Kaf Haluk?" ("How are you?") and "Habibik!" ("I love you!") to every immigrant and expat I see. If this fails to get their attention then I will just whistle or make strange noises. If I should see something even slightly out of the ordinary (like-- God forbid-- a woman wearing a headscarf) I will come to a dead halt right in front of them, let my mouth drop open and stare at them with wide eyes while saying "Ya' Allah!!" ("My God!"). When I am inevitably arrested for harassment I will tell the cops that I am simply a friendly and curious person and that people shouldn't have been offended at my attempts to reach out to them.

Eventually I might meet someone who gives me the time of day. When they respond to my cries with a "hello" or a "what do you think that you are doing" I will exclaim in loud and condescending tones "My God, your English is wonderful, where on earth did you learn to speak English like that?!?" I will then ask them for their name, their age, where they live, where they work, their marital status and find out what they think of America. When this interrogation is done I will take their arm and give them a tour while saying lots of very condescending and obvious things. "Here's a McDonalds! Have you seen a McDonalds yet? It's a restaurant. You can eat food here. Have you ever tried a hamburger before?"

Okay, I am not going to do these things of course, but imagining myself doing them is keeping me sane as I walk through the streets of Sanaa.